As I sit here and write this I don't know what to say, but can't actually believe I am writing this!!!
What I can say is what the fuck, early this Evening I found out the lead singer of Linkin Park had committed suicide, it was only two Weeks ago that I saw him and the band of which I had wanted to see them for years. It didn't disappoint and it far exceeded my expectations, they were amazing, so interactive with the crowd, but yet so loving and you felt the outpouring of emotion from Chester and the band, especially when they played crawling of which the performed an acapella version of the song, which was amazing and you could feel the words were so sincere and heart felt. When they performed one more light, which was a tribute to Chris Cornell of Soundgarden, who also killed himself, all the peoples phones in the arena lit up and was beautiful and you felt lost yet captivated at the same time. I'm so pissed off, not because he killed himself, don't get me wrong I am angry and upset, but that is more so because of that he is dead, but that I left before the last couple of songs, as I wanted to beat the traffic and the crowd getting out of the arena. I am so glad to have seen Chester and the rest of the band as they came across as loving and caring people. i was never aware of the fact that Chester had been abused as a child and reached to alcohol and drugs, the pain he must have been going through and how he used the music to express and release some his pain, which must have been awful. I feel so angry at the people who caused his pain and can't believe somebody would do this to such a lovely person. I not saying it should happen to someone who is not so nice, far from it. I'm just angry. I am watching the video of One More Light live and you should watch and see the beauty of the song, the amazing voice and spirit of this man. Don't get me wrong I am so gutted and upset about this, but this is now a time of celebration and remembrance of such an amazing man and band who gave so much and were celebrated and collaborated with because of there ability to transform music and the mix of different forms of music.
As you all know we all have our own mental health things going on, but this isn't about them at the moment, it is about Chester and about you.
My friend Richard is going through so much and is suffering at the moment, but you are amazing and I can see your strength of spirit and mind.
My friend Ashley is an amazing kart racer and on the Weekend he managed to dance his kart around and race circuit with such beauty and brilliance. In one of the races he was punted off the circuit by a weak and nasty person, fucking asshole is all I can say this crap person. I went home as I was fuming, but he went back onto the track in the next race and went from 16/15 position to finish 6th, what can I say about his resolve and determination. This just demonstrates how amazing and focused he is. Well done to you.
My friends Sasha and Steven are going through an awful time due to illness of their cats and their spirit and determination is amazing and I have so much love and respect for them.
Each of you my friends and anyone else reading this remember you are loved and cared for and if you don't think so contact me and talk to me, things may seem hopeless and people are there to help you, it doesn't mean they can understand what you have been through, but you are beautiful, you are amazing and we all love you.
I cant imagine how Chester was feeling, but I do know when I saw Linkin Park I was so lucky and feel blessed by this experience and now I just feel gutted, but happy for having seen one of my favourite bands and now listening to this music I can here and feel his pain.
Remember ring me contact me if you feel shite. I'm here whenever you need to talk, yes whenever. Music has an ability to transform how we feel and I feel blessed for having seen Linkin Park, Chester and the band transformed my life and so have each of you. i mean it, yes Im upset yes i'm gutted, but each of you make my life better