Hi everyone, so I just finished watching one of my favorite TV Series called The Originals, which is a vampire series and the song I have attached was in the final series, what I love about it and didn't realise until now, is that the series is about love and passion for life and each other, which takes me onto my next thing, which is that we have many times in our life where we are privileged to have a person, animal,event happen or come into our life. As I had a cat a few years ago and he died of a brain tumor and putting him to sleep was the worst thing I have had to do in my life, but yesterday my sisters neighbor her cat passed away and it was horrible to think about, but then I am sitting here remembering him and smiling him, he was a beautiful old white cat and he would come up and hug you and dribble at the same time as purring, so as sad as it is, it's lovely to look back and think wow I was so lucky. As I have said before due to my nerve disorder or maybe stuff that happened my life as a consequence I suffer with depression and is easy to see things so dark and negative and I do. I'm not ashamed to admit it, but when things are bright they are awesome. I'm smiling now just thinking about my sisters neighbors cat, his name was Ash.
Recently I went to London to celebrate the life of one of the most amazing singers, but yet beautiful person at the same time Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, who committed suicide, which was such a shame, but what has come out of it, is a huge campaign of exposure to mental health issues, when you look back at his career and personality, I feel so privileged to have been part of his music and genius. When I was in London I was fortunate enough to meet so many lovely and passionate people, with so much love for Linkin Park, Chester and life. You could see from there expressions, the was so much grief and love, which brought us all together and I am so thankful for this and thank you from the bottom of my heart. From Chester's death has come out so much love and appreciation for each other and mental health.
The Weekend just gone I went to a karting track near Newbury to see my Friend Ashley Lewis race his go kart in a championship. When you are witnessing perfection, you are in awe. You could see when he would first go out on the track, how he was feeling out the kart and the track, once he built up the understanding, he would dance the kart around the track with such finesse, that you just stood there watching in amazement, what I love about his character is that he's quiet and unassuming, not boastful, but as soon as he goes out on track he turns into a demon and it is a pleasure to watch. I love motorsport and enjoy the battling and expertise of drivers to put together a perfect lap and a perfect race, but more so of some drivers to hold themselves high, even in adverse situations, which is the true measure of maturity and championship material.
I am so thankful for these experiences and feel privileged to have been part of them, sometimes despite the sad outcomes which are something you wouldn't wish for, but that is part of life and is very hard, but to have been part of them, instead of missing out, you can only look back and be thankful for. I listen to the song I have attached and I can only feel love and passion. Without love and passion for something or someone, we are missing out, it is amazing to feel the adrenalin pass through your body, should that be training, racing, going to a concert, loving a person ,animal or a thing. Each of us are so privileged to be here. I think it is easy to see things negatively and we all do it, lets admit that, but we are alive and lucky. Don't get me wrong with my nerve disorder there are dark times and I wonder why I'm here sometimes, due to the pain and wish it would end, but I write because I love writing, but also in the hope that it may help someone who is struggling to understand you are not alone in your struggles, but we are all following similar paths.
Remember we may be smiling on the outside, but we don't know how any of us feels inside. To me friends and readers, you are loved, appreciated and thank you so much.