The importance of male bonding, emotional maturity and developing your character

October 1, 2017


Hello everyone and hope you are well, as I write this blog I am at Forest Edge Kart Track, down near Andover and the weather has been all over the place from Rainy to dry to torrential rain and as I type this it is overcast yet sunny, which brings me on to my next point, as you know I come from a divorced family and left our Father in London to move with my Mother to Bristol.

I have always done everything on my own and rarely have asked for help as I wanted to prove to myself that I could cope and didn’t need to rely on other people, partly because of my own anger towards my father and partly because of thinking about not trusting people and being let down.

Along my journey to emotional maturity I have started to listen to other people and accept their advice and not always thinking I am right and not to listen to other people, well my friend Nigel Lewis who I go Karting with and his son, have taught me a lot about thinking many steps ahead of things, although I always thought I was prepared for things, this is not the case, despite being a Scout Leader and training in the Royal Marines, well this Weekend I found out newish tent that I had bought although waterproof was not able to fully cope with this weather and therefore I needed to have waterproofed it more and will do this when I go home, also I have had problems with my car and lost site of the maintenance I have scheduled on the car and need to have this conversation about myself setting up more appropriate scheduling as I was lucky to not develop a bigger problem, luckily I caught it in time, but I had forgot the last time I had this particular part changed and will now remember.

As I sit her now and earlier in the Day, Ashley had wet tyres on with just over minimum tyre levels for the track and said that because there are three races today that would the tyre keep for the rest of the Day due to wear limits, which once the conversation was had we were going to use the tyres for the first race and then change them, this is something that wouldn’t have occurred to me, secondly Ashley asked about the depth of the brake pads, dad was assured there is enough on them for the rest of the Day, but you can see how he and his Dad bond together and work together, this is something I never experienced in my lifetime, but am lucky to be part of it, not only as developing friendships with these lovely people, but also being shown how to bond with other men, which is very important for boys and men from divorced families to assimilate with other men, but also to be able to develop as a man. I feel very privileged to be part of this as this helps me to develop emotionally, but also from a masculinity point of view. Jon who is Nigel’s friend also helps me to develop as I see how prepared he is and considers things I wouldn’t have thought of. In the race Today, Ashley came first in the first race and we are now preparing for the second race where it looks like it will be raining as it is starting to spit with rain. I can see how all the men around me are preparing and coming together and bonding. I love coming karting and feel so lucky to witness the men around me and how hard they work and think about things.

I have other people who help me and you know how you are and appreciate it very much and I will support you as much as you support me and feel like that is the right way to go.

My friends are asking what is happening with The Commando Challenge? The honest answer is that I don’t know as I’m not sure I am prepared enough, as I’m only at the point of running between 4 and kilometers,although my pace has increased from just under 9 minutes per kilometer to 7.4 minutes a kilometer, if I’m honest I don’t feel that in 2 Weeks’ time I will be ready, but never say never, it may be that closer to the time I think let’s keep the Commando spirit and go for it. The run I had yesterday was my best run to date. I ran out from the Kart Track along the flat and down a very steep hill, stopping for water and then reached little village, passing a trout fishing establishment where I saw a lot of deer, turned around after the village ran along the flat up the steep hill and along the flat to the kart track, ironically my time towards the end was faster than the beginning, so come Two Weeks’ time things may be difficult, but we will see.


Much Love and keep safe




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